My best friend had her beautiful baby boy today.....I am officially a god mother.  It is truly a miracle.  Its a somber moment though I know that one day nic and I would have had a baby.  It's so hard without him.  He was and will always be my one true love.  He would have given me the world but now I'm left alone and fighting for a way to make it all make sense.  my life has been some crazy places.  God has tested me and i will not stop trying.