a guide to recognizing your saints

I'm broken inside. The pain will not dissapear. The past overshadows the present. You got what you could have ever hoped for. I am damaged and torn. Unfixable. Every night I cry. I can't let go. I don't miss you. But I miss the sincerity I had. How genuine and free spirited I was. Now I am bitter and angry. I am guarded by thick walls I have put up. Made sure to not let the world see in. Detached from emotion. This must be how you felt those two years. I understand now why you walked out so easily, why you hurt me and didn't care. Your heart wasn't present even though you wanted it to be. The person I am with deserves much better. He deserves all of me....the real me. I'm just so scared. I have watched all good things in my life come and go. And watched the bad stick around. I feel so alone. I thought being cautious with love would protect my emotions but it hurts all the same. Goodnight world.